Retired Allen Iverson Greatest Player of Post-Jordan Era
By Sean McAlevey THE ROLLER COASTER, MORON MOUNTAIN, Toon Land — With Allen Iverson officially retired from the NBA as of the Philadelphia 76ers’ home opener against the Miami Heat on Wednesday night,...
View ArticleKentucky Fatally Flawed With Calipari as Coach
By Sean McAlevey SHAWN BRADLEY’S THERAPIST’S OFFICE, USA, Earth — With 1:15 left in the 2008 national championship game and the Memphis Tigers leading the Kansas Jayhawks 62-58, Memphis’ Chris...
View ArticleBill Belichick Coach of the Year for Kicking in OT
By Sean McAlevey MJ’S CHILDHOOD BASKETBALL COURT, NC, Earth — Bill Belichick is a genius. Let’s give credit where credit is due. Personally, I hate the guy. And about 98% of everyone outside of Bastan...
View ArticleJamaal Charles the Future of NFL Running Game
By Sean McAlevey THE GOLF COURSE WORMHOLE, USA, Earth — It’s not a secret that the NFL has witnessed less rushing in recent years as teams have taken a liking to the pass. Teams are averaging a mere 27...
View ArticleRob Ryan and the Importance of Defensive Coordinators
By Sean McAlevey THE TOON SQUAD LOCKER ROOM, TOON ARENA, Toon Land — After failing to reach the playoffs last season, Dallas Cowboys owner Jerry Jones did what Jerry Jones does best: he found a...
View ArticleJoakim Noah and the Rise of the Point Center
By Sean McAlevey SECTION 310, ROW 14, SEAT 6, LOONEY TOON ARENA, Toon Land — For many years, at least as far back as the 1980s, certain star forwards have been tasked with running their team’s offense...
View ArticleWhen’s a Lead Safe in Baseball?
By Sean McAlevey THE SHADE OF BILL MURRAY’S UMBRELLA HAT, USA, Earth — Yesterday I rediscovered the timeless Bill James “safe lead” formula for college basketball, which calculates exactly when a given...
View ArticleThe Preseason Top 25 and the 16 Seed’s Burden
By Sean McAlevey THE MINOR LEAGUE BASEBALL FIELD WHERE THE LOONEY TOON SPACESHIP FIRST LANDS, USA, Earth — With the Final Four coming to a close tonight as Kentucky squares off against Connecticut in...
View ArticleThe End of Westbrook and Durant?
By Jeremy Rucker STANLEY PODOLAK’S FAVORITE LAUNDROMAT, Maryland, Earth — Here we are again. Another year, another deep but ultimately unsuccessful Thunder playoff run. For the fourth year in a row,...
View ArticleEagles in Need of Less Kelly, More Defense
By Sean McAlevey IN THE MONSTAR LOCKER ROOM, Toon Land — Slated as Superbowl contenders following an offseason of bold roster moves, the Philadelphia Eagles are currently 3-3 and in the midst of an...
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